Trouble in HerefordSchh.... I'm at an undisclosed location tonight, blogging by the dim light of a single candle.
The day started well enough but this morning my executive planning meeting was interrupted by the sound of shouting outside. I put down my chocolate Hobnob and went over to the window. The council offices had been surrounded by the crowd in the photo above. I just managed to get this picture on my mobile before the script of a school panto wrapped around a brick came flying in my direction. The panto was Hansel and Gretel and some wag had substituted my name for the old hag that ate children.
I rallied my education executive team and distributed baseball bats and knuckle-dusters. With myself at the lead we burst out into the street to confront the rabble. This proved to be a mistake on my part because, no sooner had I left the safety of our Council Control Bunker, the steel doors slammed behind me and I realised I was on my own. My team had betrayed me and had run back inside.
I was quickly surrounded by the mob. One of them had brought a rope and, having tied one end to the overhanging branch of a tree, was tying a noose at the other. As they closed in on me I bared my teeth and let out a menacing growl. They stepped back in surprise just as George Salmon's voice boomed out from the bunker. "The schools review was to be suspended." "The statistics would be re-examined." "The headmasters would be consulted." "The people would be listened to."
Over my dead body! While the mob was frozen in disbelief, I made my escape.
Tonight the skies above Hereford are red and the air acrid with the smoke of a thousand burning effigies of me. I can hear dancing and singing to the music of the Wurzels from villages in deepest Herefordshire. The Yokels are celebrating tonight. Next September we'll see an increase in births.
The day started well enough but this morning my executive planning meeting was interrupted by the sound of shouting outside. I put down my chocolate Hobnob and went over to the window. The council offices had been surrounded by the crowd in the photo above. I just managed to get this picture on my mobile before the script of a school panto wrapped around a brick came flying in my direction. The panto was Hansel and Gretel and some wag had substituted my name for the old hag that ate children.
I rallied my education executive team and distributed baseball bats and knuckle-dusters. With myself at the lead we burst out into the street to confront the rabble. This proved to be a mistake on my part because, no sooner had I left the safety of our Council Control Bunker, the steel doors slammed behind me and I realised I was on my own. My team had betrayed me and had run back inside.
I was quickly surrounded by the mob. One of them had brought a rope and, having tied one end to the overhanging branch of a tree, was tying a noose at the other. As they closed in on me I bared my teeth and let out a menacing growl. They stepped back in surprise just as George Salmon's voice boomed out from the bunker. "The schools review was to be suspended." "The statistics would be re-examined." "The headmasters would be consulted." "The people would be listened to."
Over my dead body! While the mob was frozen in disbelief, I made my escape.
Tonight the skies above Hereford are red and the air acrid with the smoke of a thousand burning effigies of me. I can hear dancing and singing to the music of the Wurzels from villages in deepest Herefordshire. The Yokels are celebrating tonight. Next September we'll see an increase in births.
I'm going to lie low for a few days. See how it pans out. I have my ticket for Argentina booked just in case.
If it quietens down I'll sneak back into work and see if I can pin the blame on George. I'll say it was his idea all along. If that doesn't work he's going to have to give me a glowing reference if he is ever going to get rid of me. Maybe even a golden handshake at the expense of the bumpkins LOL.
